Have you ever been asked who your Role Model is? A very frequent and common question that was asked during my school days, and like for many other questions, I stood confused! Honestly, I didn’t know too many people. Among the people I did know, I was positively influenced by at least one attribute or one situation they were involved in both positive (what I can implement) and negative (what I may want to refrain from)! This has been my experience with every being I have crossed paths with so far. Others speaking about one person, be it a historical legend, a scientist, a businessman and the like, left me wondering whether I could zero in on that one person.
Have I found that one person? The answer is yes and no! When we talk about one Role Model, we seem to idolize the person as perfection incarnate. This is one of the biggest pitfalls that we remain blind to. Perfection sells but it is not real. The moment we acknowledge this we can become non-judgmental observers of ourselves, everyone, and everything around us. This openness helps us learn, be influenced and/ or get inspired by even a simple gesture, maybe a word or even an inanimate object! Consciously or sub-consciously, we have all been through this experience, and that’s what made us who we are today. Lead by example was one of the values in the first Corporate I worked with. This meant, become what you want to see in your team! It then occurred to me that while there isn’t one single role model in my life, I have been, am and will endeavor to be my biggest role model!
Like my journey, yours is unique to you, and I hope you find it in you to acknowledge how far you have come, learn from those experiences and be the change you want to see in yourself and around you!
I have also realized that our children become the most significant catalyst in this journey. They are simply a reflection of our attitude, behavior, habits, and the environment we create! So, if there is something that we want our child to do or be, we need to do or be it first – i.e., Lead by Example! Again, the rule of imperfection will not allow us to do or be all that we want them to be, so it is essential to enable them to have as many role models as we possibly can. Of course, certain attributes they pick up might not align with our values or beliefs. In that case, it is vital to have an open and honest conversation with them regarding our discomforts about these while still acknowledging the positive aspects! I would be lying if I did not admit to this being an unnerving process!
A simple example that we experienced with AJ a while back. She had found a new friend at the park we regularly go to. While I did enjoy some me time as she was experiencing socializing, sharing, and communication, I also noticed she had picked up screaming and throwing things. My first reaction was screaming back ‘DON’T SCREAM’ and ‘DON’T THROW THINGS’. I then realized that if I wanted AJ to understand, I had to say it in a manner that would help her understand. So instead of yelling at her, I would repeatedly and politely tell her to keep things down slowly or talk softly. I also created a temporary and mindful separation between the kids while working with AJ on this! I say mindful because it is important not to hurt the others involved or feel judged. I say temporary because they play together again! This time around AJ hasn't shown any signs of screaming or throwing things around!
As for AJ, as she grows, it is important that:
She does not feel judged or punished for her actions.
Our approval or disapproval does not weigh her down, i.e., she should not perceive this as our lack of trust in her.
She can embrace people as they are i.e., while she may choose to be inspired by the positives, she is mindful of the shortcomings and learns from them.
She knows she is loved and cherished despite our disapproval of certain behaviors or attitudes, i.e., imperfections and mistakes are a part of her learning and growing process.
She endeavors to be her role model and lead by example without idolizing or remaining confused for having to zero in on one role model!
Commenti